Family, Live the season, Writing

a season of good enough

There is this thing I struggle with, and maybe you do, too.

I hit a roadblock of disappointment, and then I am faced with a choice. I can either climb out of discouragement, embrace what is and let go of what is not. Or, choose to stay and wallow in the what is not until it hardens around me and I am stuck.

I’m not talking about grief. I mean disappointment. Maybe frustration. Something that slows me to a grinding halt.

I’m realizing how much of an all or nothing sort of person I am. If I can’t do it well, or the way I envision it, well then, I’d rather not do it.

I wrestle with this all the time.

In my yard.

In my house.

On my desk.

In conversations.

With photo albums.

With Exercise.

With relationships.

With writing.

Volunteering at school.

Praying.

It’s a heavy expectation I put on myself. 

And if you’re like me, you really don’t have time to do it perfectly. Sometimes not even decently.

Sometimes, I have to skip the gourmet, make it from scratch dinners I love to prepare because in order to be able to eat together tonight, dinner has to be done in 20 minutes.

I need to master the art of making the most of minutes. And I don’t mean a constant flurry of busy.

What I mean is, being content with sliding those pictures into old fashioned sleeves instead of waiting for the week of nothing that will never happen, in which I will create gorgeous scrapbooks out of 20 years of over snapping pictures.

I mean cleaning the room even if I hate the furniture.

I mean saying something even if it isn’t worded exactly right.

I mean learning the discipline of just writing for a half an hour. Because I don’t have six.

And then let it be, and go to bed.

What about you? What keeps you from being satisfied with good enough?

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