conversations about addiction, recovery, and faith
34 year old me is desperately jealous of 44 year old me.
I am exhausted from swimming in and out of the current. I long for a boat of bliss, to float above grief, to get out of the river.
maybe love does not boast means I don’t need to prove how much I deserve love
Envy is hardest when all is wrong. When all the world has spring and you have winter. Endless, endless winter.
Determination only gets so far in the day in day out.
And romantic stubbornness turns cold.
If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it.
CS Lewis, The Four Loves
“I have not forgotten you. I did not lead you into the wilderness to die.”
But over the past ten years, God has been peeling. Peeling and peeling the layers of me. And I am confronted often by who I think I should be and who I am.
Sometimes, discouragement knocks hard on your door and it takes everything in you not to invite it in to share a giant piece of chocolate cake.